Adopted Grandparent’s Day

Today is bittersweet for me. It’s Grandparent’s Day at the school that I currently teach at. The readers of my blog also know that my son attends the same school. Based on what you guys have read about me, you may be able to infer where this post is going. As soon as I found out that this day was quickly approaching, I was filled with some sadness on behalf of my son. I’m sure that Journee will only remember the happiness he felt because he was able to have lunch with his “stand in grandparent’s”. But I, on the other hand, am only reminded of just how dysfunctional my family as well as my husbands’ family is. 

When I was made aware of this day, I begin to feel sorry for my kiddos. My immediate family’s inability to care about others more than they care about themselves causes my children to miss out on relationships that are integral to their successful development. This weekend we were invited to the birthday party of a coworkers daughter. I watched her mother play video games with her grandchildren willingly and happily. I felt immense empathy and sympathy for my children because they probably will never know what that feels like. Tianna has not had a grandparents’ presence at her birthday party since the age of 5. Journee never. 

I saw the look on his face as he saw his classmates line up to go to the first part of lunch. He cried because he didn’t understand why he had to wait. I’m sure he felt left out because he was only comforted by the hugs of my coworker. I thank you for that.😘 His eyes lit up when he saw his stand in grandmother and grandfather waiting for him in the lunch area. I knew I had made the best decision for him as he skipped to hug them. I can only hope that he will look back on this day with good memories because he didn’t have to eat alone. Yes it is only one lunch, but these are the things that children cherish for the rest of their lives. 

My children will probably never know what spoiled weekends at their biological grandparents’ home feels like. There will probably be no generational family portraits, pictures of them with their biological grandparent’s at award ceremonies or graduations. They will probably never have vacations with their grandparents that their parents are banned from. They probably will never share secrets with their biological grandparent’s or have any type of special bond that only they understand. They probably will never really be grandchildren and I’m not ok with that. But I have to be. 

Maybe one day they will have a relationship with their own grandparent’s and they won’t have to share with another child. Until then, I will be grateful for their stand in grandparent’s and continue to be the overcompensating mother that I am to ensure that they are never left alone on another Grandparent’s Day. 

  

   
    
 
This is literally how his lunch went lol! He wanted to eat dessert first. I thank you again K. Cutno and anyone else that has stood in the gap for me and my family. If you really know us, you know our REAL story. It has not been easy, but we are making the best of what we have. 

R.I.P. Daddy forever a daddy’s girl 

If you aren’t growing, you’re dying. ~Z. Reed✌🏾️